You Do Football, I'll Do Me-Time
For some wives, and some husbands, football season means temporarily losing their spouses to the gridiron. It happens.
Take, for example, Noel Bosco, a copywriter in Chicago who doesn’t see her husband Sylas Bailey on game days, except when he emerges for more beer or more snacks. While Bailey watches every Nebraska Cornhuskers game because they’re his favorite team, Bosco avoids the TV as soon as helmets appear.
Other spouses shared similar experiences — and for the most part, they embrace the solo life that football season brings. Sure, there may be more yelling and less companionship at home, but they also have more time for their hobbies and friends.
Carol Gee, an author from Atlanta, uses her husband’s love of football to write new books in a separate part of the house. Gee also catches up on all the DIY and craft projects she puts off the rest of the year.
“My husband lives and breathes football. Over the past 45 years of marriage, I have learned to adapt,” Gee says.
Loving Your Alone Time
Although it bothered her at first, now Bosco uses her solo time to plow through a pile of books and lose herself in folklore stories filled with trolls and fairies.
“I’m a freelance copywriter, so I move around my work to make it line up with his football schedule. It works out perfectly since I can tell my husband I can’t watch any of the games because of my deadlines. He has no idea if I’m actually working or reading another book about trolls,” Bosco shares.
After 10 years of marriage, Micaela Heights, a business coach in American Canyon, California, prefers to think of football season as “me” time. She doesn’t mind exploring a new trail on a hike by herself or shopping for hours without her husband. While he yells at every football game on the TV, she schedules a relaxing spa day alone.
Bosco, Heights, and Gee say there’s surprisingly little strife in their marriages over football. Each of their husbands is a dedicated fan who doesn’t miss a single game, but the wives don’t watch or attend any.
“He always has his own space, a spare bedroom, to enjoy them alone,” Gee notes.
By doing their own thing instead of complaining about their husbands being glued to the TV, they avoid arguments, celebrate each other’s individuality, and keep their relationships strong.
Finding Comfort In Friends
All three women tried to like football at the beginning of their marriages, but they just couldn’t find the passion their husbands had. Their spouses understood. Over the years, the women have also found like-minded friends to help them get through the season.
Recently, Bosco became friends with another woman widowed by the game. They get coffee and commiserate.
“While our spouses and everyone else are watching football, we can go anywhere. There are no lines or wait time. It’s heaven,” she tells.
Heights also plans her brunches with friends to coincide with local NFL games. Her husband doesn’t notice when she leaves the house, and she prefers it that way. The fridge is filled with beer and food before leaving, and she can spend hours chatting with friends.
The women all believe that doing their own thing while a game is on is healthier for their relationships because it prevents arguments about why they don’t love football as much as their husbands.
Plus, once the Bowl games are done and become a (recent) memory, their husbands return to them on a more regular basis. And, they can always come back together at the end of the day in their bed.
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Photo by Brent Gorwin on Unsplash