Couple in bed fighting over covers - she has them all and he tugs to get some back.

· Article

How to Keep Peace in the Bedroom

· Article

How to Keep Peace in the Bedroom

While you may get along swimmingly with your partner outside the bedroom, you may drown in misery if you have different sleep styles and preferences.


One study shows that if your sleep suffers, your marriage can suffer too. Has your bedroom turned into a dwelling of disturbance rather than a soothing sanctuary for sleep? If so, it’s time to take action.


You like different temperatures.


Some like it hot. Others, not so much.


Although experts agree that a cool room helps you sleep better, individual preferences vary. Rather than fighting over control of the thermostat, consider calling a truce by adding our DualTemp™ layer to your bed. You can heat or cool each side to your heart’s content. During chillier months, consider a comforter that lets you customize the warmth on each side, so it’s just right for both of you.


You have mismatched sleep schedules.


You might be fighting with heavy eyelids at 9 p.m. while your partner can’t even consider bedtime before midnight. Having different sleep-time preferences can render your sleep schedules impossible to sync. This can be especially tough for people who do shift work or work nights. They can suffer from feelings similar to jet lag because of disruption to their circadian rhythms caused by a lack of exposure to sunlight, according to the National Institutes of Health.


What can you do about your radically incompatible schedules? If you can’t change them, find a mutually agreeable time to snuggle up together in bed while the early bird still has enough energy to connect. The key is to find a time that works for you both.


This may also work for new parents of infants who sleep and wake at odd hours.


You like firm, the other likes soft.


Nothing’s better than a soft, cushy mattress.


Nothing’s better than a hard, firm mattress.


Who wins? Rather than fight over it, take (your own) sides and learn about our mattress that adjusts on each side for couples with different preferences, and see how both your needs can be met. It can make the difference between a lose-lose and a win-win situation.


You have a snoring sleep partner.


Sleep with a snorer and you’re bound to feel tired, cranky and even resentful the next morning.


Sleep apnea, a disorder associated with loud snoring, causes breathing to be disrupted during sleep. And that snoring can also disrupt a partner’s sleep.


If you struggle with a snoring partner, consider donning earplugs or using a white noise machine. Since sleeping on your back encourages snoring, try to get your spouse to turn and sleep on their side. You might also consider a specialized pillow, or an adjustable base that raises your partner’s head to a more snore-friendly position.


You’re dealing with a blanket hogger.


Maybe you’re the one who claims the entire blanket, leaving your partner with a mere inch to themselves. Or you’re the one who wakes abruptly, sans covers. Why not claim a blanket of your own? There’s no rule against nixing the nighttime tug-of-war and making your bed with a single blanket on each side. No more drama and way more sleep.


You’re hearing one too many “achoos.”


And you’re too weary to utter one more “geshundeit.” Whatever the cause of the sneezing, there are easy solutions. For one, consider combating allergens by using a humidifier to discourage dust mites and other allergy culprits. For more tips, click here. If your bedmate has a bad cold, perhaps they might consider sleeping in a spare bedroom or on the sofa, if that’s an option. If not, nasal strips or decongestant spray can temporarily take the sniffles down a notch. And it may help your partner sleep better, too. That’s a win-win for everyone.



Like diet and exercise, quality sleep is essential for optimal health and performance. Because everyone’s sleep needs are different, Sleep Number® beds with SleepIQ® technology inside adjust to your ideal level of firmness, comfort and support. SleepIQ technology tracks how well you sleep each night, giving you personal insights into your sleep so you’ll learn how life affects your sleep and how sleep affects your life. Find your Sleep Number® setting for your best possible night’s sleep.

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